Mental Hurdles

How long is the race of mental hurdles?

During my course of healthy living, I have stumbled across a lot of things I didn't know about myself. 

1. I like me!
2. I like to walk!
3. I like to hike!
4. I am my own worst enemy!
5. I am smart!
6. I talk myself down!
7. I point out my own negativity's!
8. I tell myself I can't!
9. I have muscle!
10. I talk to myself a lot!

My first major hurdle I need to overcome is me.  I was walking on the treadmill this weekend and was reflecting on what I have done over the week.  Not much.  And then I thought why?  Because I was feeling really down about jogging.  The way I feel after I jog and how I want to like to do it but my legs won't let me. I would rather walk. Fast! LOL!  So then after a mile of walking fast, my legs felt loose and I thought, maybe I need to walk a mile before I can jog? It seems like such a lot of time to take to warm up to jog, but I guess if that is what I want to do, then I have to do it.  Then I thought, I don't want to.  I like to walk. I could walk all day long!!  So instead of quiting like I would have done before because I couldn't do something, I am going to do what I CAN do and go from there.  I need to stop putting myself down!!  I'm telling you, it is horrible the things I think!  So then when someone pays a compliment to me, I have taught myself not to believe them.  Because, how could I possibly be what they see?  They can't possibly believe what they are saying, they are just being nice.  Now, how is thinking like that going to do me any good?  I need to feel good about me!  In order to make change physically, I need to change this inside crap! 

So after 2 miles, I thought "how do I change the inside crap?"  Still looking for the answer...but I am going to take it one day at a time.  First, I am going to look in the mirror in the morning and pick out something I do like about me and say it out loud.  And believe it! Does that sound like a good start??

I have read on many healthy lifestyle changing blogs about their mental hurdles about what they thought of themselves.  I didn't really pay any attention to how I was treating myself at the time.  I kept thinking as I read, how silly they were because they are beautiful women! 

So on my last mile on the treadmill, I saw a show on MTV "I used to be fat."  It was actually a pretty good show.  It seems to me that most people going through changes like I am going through go through this mental ickiness.  But by conquering their fears and moving past their comfort zones, they get to this better place. 

Does that really happen?  Will I get to that better place?  And when?